blessings upon blessings

so, it's back to "real life", or "normal", whatever that is! jen's wedding was absolutely perfect! i remember waking up the morning after my wedding and feeling bad about this person or that person not being there and i was very worried i would feel the same after jen's (or she would). not so - maybe it's age (not as much matters anymore), or maybe i was just too immature at the time or whatever. but, i look back on jen's day and know that the sun was shining, it was bright and clear, everything worked the way we planned, the tables at the reception were full, the cupcakes look so pretty, the flowers were SOooooooooo gorgeous, andy and julie went so far beyond most photographers, my cha cha's were fabulous, the programs were elegant (even though i ordered too many - not sure WHAT i was thinking) :), the food (by joseph) was delicious - he's a culinary genious in my book! the wedding party looked so stunning and striking in the black! kimmie faye was absolutely beautiful and she and her dad did a wonderful job singing "divine romance" during communion! jen looked radiant! she felt so good in her dress and that makes such a difference - her hair was down with curls and a white flower on the right side. they made personal vows to each other in addition to the traditional ones. jen got choked up at one point and i remember brett promising her that he would "go to boise and beyond" because he loves her so much! i have prayed for these two since before they were born and it's so cool to be here to see this part of their lives.
i am overwhelmed by God's goodness, faithfulness and love for me. i am so imperfect, wounded, selfish and so much more, but He loves me and cares about everything that i care about.
i am grateful.

the day before the DAY...

i cannot believe that it's may 15th already and my precious jen is getting married tomorrow! it's corny, but i'm remembering realizing i was carrying her, her birthday, introducing her to life, singing to her and the whole past 26+ years. i've been praying for her and brett before i knew either of their names. God has given her (and me) the desires of her heart - a Godly man who loves her more than ever.
for several months i have asked God for sunshine and to make it clear to me that it was a gift from Him. He is so faithful. it's been a rather dreary, cold, gray, wet winter and spring, but today i woke to the brilliant sun and a forecast of 70+ degrees and sun for the next two to three days. He care about everything in our lives - even the seemingly trivial. I love my God.
this will be a fun day - we're having a bridal party luncheon at the thai joint, then the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner!
i want tomorrow to be perfect for jen!

Mother's Day

wow. what a day. church started out really good and soon into mark's sermon our friend bill was having medical trouble in the lobby. long story short...he was having a massive heart attack and we actually had to do cpr until the paramedics got there and i am still surprised he is alive. the doctor is "cautiously optimistic" so that is great news considering what he went through, so we praise God that bill was in church and not home alone and that there were several of us trained in cpr and on and on the miracles go. it was awful to be part of - death is so ugly, scarey and painful.
yesterday jen and i had lunch together and i asked her (in all seriousness) if she felt she needed any more advice for me about the sexual part of marriage. she feels prepared, but i wasn't prepared for the tears that stung my eyes just talking with her about so personal and so wonderful a part of life that she will begin in just a week!
i miss mom SO much right now - she would be so excited for jen's wedding and so proud of all the kids and their accomplishments. she would have helped me with all the wedding "fun" and would have been beside herself with pride on the big day! she would love brett too! margaret just reminded me that mom is around in the ways we love each other, take care of each other, celebrate each other and stay connected. that's true. i don't know what i'd do without my s/p's. this mother's day felt better than some, easier than some, but harder in ways too. God does take that empty space (if we let Him) and fills it with His peace, love and good memories, but mom was right - - "there will always be that mom space in my heart that nothing else will fill." I called her Blessed and was blessed by God to have her.