Mother's Day

wow. what a day. church started out really good and soon into mark's sermon our friend bill was having medical trouble in the lobby. long story short...he was having a massive heart attack and we actually had to do cpr until the paramedics got there and i am still surprised he is alive. the doctor is "cautiously optimistic" so that is great news considering what he went through, so we praise God that bill was in church and not home alone and that there were several of us trained in cpr and on and on the miracles go. it was awful to be part of - death is so ugly, scarey and painful.
yesterday jen and i had lunch together and i asked her (in all seriousness) if she felt she needed any more advice for me about the sexual part of marriage. she feels prepared, but i wasn't prepared for the tears that stung my eyes just talking with her about so personal and so wonderful a part of life that she will begin in just a week!
i miss mom SO much right now - she would be so excited for jen's wedding and so proud of all the kids and their accomplishments. she would have helped me with all the wedding "fun" and would have been beside herself with pride on the big day! she would love brett too! margaret just reminded me that mom is around in the ways we love each other, take care of each other, celebrate each other and stay connected. that's true. i don't know what i'd do without my s/p's. this mother's day felt better than some, easier than some, but harder in ways too. God does take that empty space (if we let Him) and fills it with His peace, love and good memories, but mom was right - - "there will always be that mom space in my heart that nothing else will fill." I called her Blessed and was blessed by God to have her.